Have power, will misuse: Four things we suspect is next on the MPs wish-list

It’s no secret that the Members of Parliament give Balaji Telefilms stiff competition in providing wholesome entertainment to the Indian public day in and out.

They are known to do everything except what they have been elected to do. Specialising in Masters of Making Outrageous Demands, MPs have no regard for laws or taxpayers money, which more often than not, they treat as their personal fund.

It’s a shame that Parliament sessions haven’t yet been christened The Great Indian Comedy Circus because the antics of the ministers are worthy of no lesser title.

Allow me to explain.

It started with an RTI reply which recently revealed that parliament canteens serving MPs got subsidies of a whopping Rs 60.7 crore during the last five years. What it invariably meant was that besides paying for our own lunches, we end up paying for theirs as well. Sample this- a plate of fried fish and chips would cost an MP a paltry Rs 25, while Masala Dosa could be relished at six rupees and a plate of stewed vegetable would cost them only four rupees. (I don’t remember the last time I bought anything for four rupees.)

If that wasn’t enough, they soon united to propose a 100% salary hike. Headed by BJP MP Yogi Adityanath, a parliamentary panel proposed recommendations to the salary, pension and benefits package of the current and former MPs.

Some of their demands included a 100% salary hike for current MPs. At present they earn Rs 50,000 a month, which according to the panel is ‘not that much’. A 77% pension hike for the former MPs was also demanded. Apart from this, the MPs also felt that their existing daily allowance, railway allowance and travel allowance should be increased.

Unfortunately, their demands did not see the light of the day due to the government shooting down majority of their proposals, providing a rare evidence of logical decision- making skills. (Who knew our government could do that?)

Not one to be bogged down by rejection, the MPs bounced back in the arena by demanding that a special smoking room be designated for them inside the Parliament. The fact that the Parliament, including its grounds are in fact a no-smoking zone didn’t seem to bother them one bit.

And, soon enough, their wish was granted when the waiting lounge of the Central hall was recently designated as the smoking area for the MPs by the Speaker, even though it quite clearly violated the law.

In light of how ridiculously easy it was for them to get their wishes granted and keeping their previous behavior in mind, Business Insider India draws up a list predicting four things our MPs are about to wish for, next.

Because with great power, comes a great wish-list.

1. A one year vacation from attending Parliament sessions every year: Going by the daily adjournment of the Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha, this is definitely going to top their list of demands. Our ever hardworking MPs who dutifully wake up, reach the Parliament only to successfully adjourn it every day, day after day have earned this vacation. No questions asked!

2. Mattresses to replace seats in the Parliament: Our MPs doze off in the Parliament so frequently that it has stopped shocking us. It’s gotten to the extent where we’ve even started assuming that dozing off in the Parliament is in fact their job description. Thus, it would be cruel to expect them to discharge their duties faithfully without proper equipment. Order up the most comfortable sleeping mattress, please!

3. Weekly porn hour in the Parliament: Move over Question Hour and Zero hour. To keep up with the times, formally designating a Porn Hour is an absolutely necessity. Our MPs need to be given time off to experiment with the 857 websites blocked by the government. Remember, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!

4. An IIM in their honour to give out degrees in Wasting Time and Procrastination: Our MPs have a rare talent in wasting time and doing absolutely nothing productive inside and outside the Parliament, which obviously cannot die with them. For India to command its place as a developing country, that legacy needs to be passed on. Thus, expect an announcement of setting up an IIM where they can train future versions of themselves real soon. (Shudder!)

Image Credit: Indiatimes