A relationship therapist breaks down the 10 most common fights couples have
When I asked Rachel Sussman, a a relationship expert and marriage counselor in New York City, about the most common fights couples have, she started mentioning things like chores and social media. I was skeptical. These issues seemed relatively trivial, especially compared to infidelity or a clash in parenting styles.
But Sussman explained that the fight isn't so much about the issue itself as it is about a lack of communication. "If you're someone who has really poor communication skills," she told me, "that might mean that the minute your partner brings something up, you get very defensive, or you start with the 'tit for tat.'" Which means that "no matter what you're arguing about, that could escalate into a really big fight."Sussman described 10 of the most common sources of conflict among the couples she sees - and importantly, she said, working on your communication skills is the key to resolving them all. "If you can communicate well, you can get through these issues in a way that can actually bring you closer together," she said. "And if you can't communicate well, it makes it so much worse and can actually tear you apart."