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A Bunch Of People Just Got The Worst Targeted Email Of All Time

Mar 11, 2014, 00:52 IST

IMDB / Touchstone PicturesDeuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo

I received a very unusual PR pitch in my inbox earlier today.

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Here's how it began:

Hi Sam,

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You're a recently divorced successful single woman. You have a thriving career and children from your past marriage. Except, unlike most single woman, you have no desire to seek a new relationship. In fact, you have little interest in conventional dating practices and can't be bothered with one-night stands or the complicated strings attached to a relationship...

Almost none of that fits my profile. In particular, I am not a divorced single woman with children. Regarding my career, I'm pretty much the most important professional in all business media, so they got the "successful" part right.

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I wasn't alone in receiving this poorly targeted pitch.

Perhaps the most amusing part of the pitch with the PR reps client. From the email (Names removed.):

Internationally known as an elite male companion for women, ________ is no stranger to a new breed of successful divorcees on the market today. Too involved in their career to be bothered with the complications of a relationship, but still in need of companionship, these women are the driving force behind male companions for hire in today's society.

________ has years of experience, both professional and otherwise that has given him a deep understanding of the applied principles of human sociosexuality. Through his experience as an elite male companion, ________ has developed a unique approach to developing a genuine and positive connection with clients.

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Would you be interested in an interview with ________ to discuss the increasing trend of companionship?

Sounds interesting. But I had to pass.

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