I Went To Burning Man And It Was Even Crazier Than I Expected

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It all started with this: a cheap, leopard suitcase I purchased on the streets of NYC. Everything you bring to Burning Man you risk getting seriously dirty or losing. I felt okay sacrificing this.

It all started with this: a cheap, leopard suitcase I purchased on the streets of NYC. Everything you bring to Burning Man you risk getting seriously dirty or losing. I felt okay sacrificing this.
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I packed it full with costumes, sunscreen, sunglasses, flashlights, food, and other items on the official checklist. Everything is in plastic bags to keep it clean from the impending desert dust.

I packed it full with costumes, sunscreen, sunglasses, flashlights, food, and other items on the official checklist. Everything is in plastic bags to keep it clean from the impending desert dust.
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Upon arrival in Reno, the closest airport, I hit a Walmart to grab last-minute necessities such as jugs of water. Walmart was clearly prepared for all of the "Burners" driving from Reno.

Upon arrival in Reno, the closest airport, I hit a Walmart to grab last-minute necessities such as jugs of water. Walmart was clearly prepared for all of the "Burners" driving from Reno.

Just two days after the festival started, shelves were incredibly picked over.

Just two days after the festival started, shelves were incredibly picked over.
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Or there was simply nothing left at all. But I managed to get what I needed.

Or there was simply nothing left at all. But I managed to get what I needed.

A two hour drive later, I approached "The Playa" — what people call the land where Burning Man is held.

A two hour drive later, I approached "The Playa" — what people call the land where Burning Man is held.
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I was greeted by veteran burners. Being a "burn virgin" myself, I had to get out of the car and roll around in the dust as is customary for all first-timers.

I was greeted by veteran burners. Being a "burn virgin" myself, I had to get out of the car and roll around in the dust as is customary for all first-timers.

Everyone stays in tents or RVS.

Everyone stays in tents or RVS.
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I stayed in a small RV, but this is what the inside of many tents looked like.

I stayed in a small RV, but this is what the inside of many tents looked like.

There was a communal tent filled with pillows, blow up couches, and chairs where everyone could hang out together.

There was a communal tent filled with pillows, blow up couches, and chairs where everyone could hang out together.
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My camp was part of a larger camp that offered two large meals a day in exchange for kitchen duties like cooking and cleaning.

My camp was part of a larger camp that offered two large meals a day in exchange for kitchen duties like cooking and cleaning.

There was food for hundreds. Check out the massive pot of scrambled eggs being made.

There was food for hundreds. Check out the massive pot of scrambled eggs being made.
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One of my duties was to "massage" this salad before lunch.

One of my duties was to "massage" this salad before lunch.

And then came dish duty.

And then came dish duty.
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It was pretty gross. Everything you bring into the desert, you have to take back out — including dirty dish water.

It was pretty gross. Everything you bring into the desert, you have to take back out — including dirty dish water.

Ornately decorated bikes are used to get everywhere.

Ornately decorated bikes are used to get everywhere.
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Each bike has to be covered in el wire, which lights up at night so people don't run into you.

Each bike has to be covered in el wire, which lights up at night so people don't run into you.

Or in the middle of desert dust storms.

Or in the middle of desert dust storms.
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It is by far the most common mode of transportation around the playa.

It is by far the most common mode of transportation around the playa.

But there are a few other ways of getting around, like Segway scooters.

But there are a few other ways of getting around, like Segway scooters.
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The first place I checked out was Distrikt, a Vegas-like outdoor club pumping music between the mountains. The bar was open, but you had to provide your own glass.

The first place I checked out was Distrikt, a Vegas-like outdoor club pumping music between the mountains.  The bar was open, but you had to provide your own glass.

It was beautiful at sunset.

It was beautiful at sunset.
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People are literally dancing everywhere.

People are literally dancing everywhere.

Instead of bartering, I found that most people give things out for free.

Instead of bartering, I found that most people give things out for free.
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Like this man who traveled from Mexico to pour pickle back shots.

Like this man who traveled from Mexico to pour pickle back shots.

This booth offered free bad advice. Thanks!

This booth offered free bad advice. Thanks!
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Money is no good here, but stupid human tricks are. I don't have any so I had to do a cartwheel in exchange for sending a postcard from the working post office.

Money is no good here, but stupid human tricks are. I don't have any so I had to do a cartwheel in exchange for sending a postcard from the working post office.

This camp offered free fried chicken and watermelon. And they delivered!

This camp offered free fried chicken and watermelon. And they delivered!
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It was delicious.

It was delicious.

There was a free wine tasting.

There was a free wine tasting.
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And free coffee from New Orleans' famous Cafe Du Monde.

And free coffee from New Orleans' famous Cafe Du Monde.

Inside, people read the paper as if nothing crazy was going on in the desert around them.

Inside, people read the paper as if nothing crazy was going on in the desert around them.
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Pretty much anything you wanted, you could find.

Pretty much anything you wanted, you could find.

Some camps set up fun activities like zip lines.

Some camps set up fun activities like zip lines.
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This bicyclist carried around a massage table for strangers.

This bicyclist carried around a massage table for strangers.

The "Duck Pond" camp had a great viewing point for sunsets and sunrises.

The "Duck Pond" camp had a great viewing point for sunsets and sunrises.
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There was a gym.

There was a gym.

A salon.

A salon.
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Hollywood!

Hollywood!

A working pay phone. (There was absolutely no cell phone reception.)

A working pay phone. (There was absolutely no cell phone reception.)
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Places for napping.

Places for napping.

Medical services for both physical and mental troubles.

Medical services for both physical and mental troubles.
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And there were tons of wedding ceremonies taking place all over.

And there were tons of wedding ceremonies taking place all over.

Including this fire-breathing octopus art car, where the bride and groom's rings were made of duct tape.

Including this fire-breathing octopus art car, where the bride and groom's rings were made of duct tape.
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Art cars are a huge thing at the festival and people spend all year putting them together, like this pinata-themed vehicle.

Art cars are a huge thing at the festival and people spend all year putting them together, like this pinata-themed vehicle.

This lizard car was made of all metal.

This lizard car was made of all metal.
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This incredible idea was a car that supported hammock chairs.

This incredible idea was a car that supported hammock chairs.

Others were simply colorful.

Others were simply colorful.
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The parties continued even through the dust storms.

The parties continued even through the dust storms.

I noticed this parked art car from a distance because they were blasting good music.

I noticed this parked art car from a distance because they were blasting good music.
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This guy inside the car shot people below with a hose to cool them down. It was nearly 100-degrees every day. Nights were cooler.

This guy inside the car shot people below with a hose to cool them down. It was nearly 100-degrees every day. Nights were cooler.

On the outside of the car there was an open bar, where people filled their Camelbaks intended for water with alcohol instead.

On the outside of the car there was an open bar, where people filled their Camelbaks intended for water with alcohol instead.
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The festival, and this car, cater to all ages. Here is someone's dad taking a little break.

The festival, and this car, cater to all ages. Here is someone's dad taking a little break.

This art car filled with Barbies looked fun.

This art car filled with Barbies looked fun.
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But was pretty disturbing upon closer inspection.

But was pretty disturbing upon closer inspection.

This fish car was creative.

This fish car was creative.
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And there was a cool bumblebee car.

And there was a cool bumblebee car.

The cars take you out to "deep playa," miles away from the main camps, where random things like this open bar are set up.

The cars take you out to "deep playa," miles away from the main camps, where random things like this open bar are set up.
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People hang out in booths just like in real bars — except you're literally in the middle of nowhere.

People hang out in booths just like in real bars — except you're literally in the middle of nowhere.

Some people set up badminton.

Some people set up badminton.
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This fence is the very end of the playa, where burners aren't allowed to go past.

This fence is the very end of the playa, where burners aren't allowed to go past.

Around this area, I spotted a movie theater. It was fully functioning with a generator, playing films like "The Wizard of Oz," and offering snacks at a concession stand.

Around this area, I spotted a movie theater. It was fully functioning with a generator, playing films like "The Wizard of Oz," and offering snacks at a concession stand.
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There was all kinds of art.

There was all kinds of art.

Like this toilet brush cleaner statue, located conveniently near a line of porta potties.

Like this toilet brush cleaner statue, located conveniently near a line of porta potties.
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A giant disco ball that lit up and glowed neon purple at night.

A giant disco ball that lit up and glowed neon purple at night.

Interactive art installations.

Interactive art installations.
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At night, everything lit up. Which is amazing considering there is no power grid.

At night, everything lit up. Which is amazing considering there is no power grid.

Even the art cars light up.

Even the art cars light up.
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I spotted this cart which had two sinks and was handing out free toothbrushes. Notice the glowing tooth on the top!

I spotted this cart which had two sinks and was handing out free toothbrushes. Notice the glowing tooth on the top!

At night there were wild dance parties played by DJs such as Paul Oakenfold and Major Lazer.

At night there were wild dance parties played by DJs such as Paul Oakenfold and Major Lazer.
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There were fire dancers.

There were fire dancers.

The entire fake city was aglow as soon as the sun went down.

The entire fake city was aglow as soon as the sun went down.
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This glowing woman statue by artist Marco Cochrane was a 2013 favorite.

This glowing woman statue by artist Marco Cochrane was a 2013 favorite.

Here is the woman sculpture from afar during the daylight.

Here is the woman sculpture from afar during the daylight.
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The structure of "the man" is burned at the end of the week.

The structure of "the man" is burned at the end of the week.

You can go inside the man and slide down. This is the view from inside looking out onto the playa.

You can go inside the man and slide down. This is the view from inside looking out onto the playa.
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Everything appears so small.

Everything appears so small.

On Saturday, the man is burned to the ground as people gather around and watch.

On Saturday, the man is burned to the ground as people gather around and watch.
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By the end of it, I was tired, covered in dust, and ready for a shower.

By the end of it, I was tired, covered in dust, and ready for a shower.

But overall, it was a great experience that I would highly recommend to anyone up for the adventure. High-fives all around!

But overall, it was a great experience that I would highly recommend to anyone up for the adventure. High-fives all around!
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