We Ate Lunch At Heart Attack Grill, The Las Vegas Burger Joint That Tries To Kill Its Customers [PHOTOS]

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The Heart Attack Grill is not close to the Las Vegas Strip. We took a 20-minute cab ride that cost about $35. (That little squiggle is the strip.)

The Heart Attack Grill is not close to the Las Vegas Strip. We took a 20-minute cab ride that cost about $35. (That little squiggle is the strip.)
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But we finally made it. Welcome to the Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas, where everyone who weighs over 350 pounds eats for free.

But we finally made it. Welcome to the Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas, where everyone who weighs over 350 pounds eats for free.
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Don't know how much you weigh? Thankfully you can weigh yourself outside before going in (there's another scale inside, too).

Don't know how much you weigh? Thankfully you can weigh yourself outside before going in (there's another scale inside, too).
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The restaurant's exterior is plastered with signs that brag about how unhealthy it is.

The restaurant's exterior is plastered with signs that brag about how unhealthy it is.
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And beware — the restaurant is cash only, although there is a very affordable ATM inside.

And beware — the restaurant is cash only, although there is a very affordable ATM inside.
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Upon arrival, the "nurses" (waitstaff) give out one-size-fits-most hospital gowns to be worn as bibs for the meal.

Upon arrival, the "nurses" (waitstaff) give out one-size-fits-most hospital gowns to be worn as bibs for the meal.
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The interior is a kitschy mess, with a huge stethoscope spanning the ceiling and plenty of jokey signs with burger and weight puns.

The interior is a kitschy mess, with a huge stethoscope spanning the ceiling and plenty of jokey signs with burger and weight puns.
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For instance, look at all this burger art that guests see as they head to the restroom.

For instance, look at all this burger art that guests see as they head to the restroom.
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And of course there's a lit up "Last Supper" mural featuring famous fast food mascots surrounding "Doctor Jon."

And of course there's a lit up "Last Supper" mural featuring famous fast food mascots surrounding "Doctor Jon."
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There was also a large paddle and lucky strike pack floating above our heads. The paddle is a larger version of what customers are spanked with if they don't finish their food (seriously).

There was also a large paddle and lucky strike pack floating above our heads. The paddle is a larger version of what customers are spanked with if they don't finish their food (seriously).
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You can also always buy some Lucky Strikes if you feel like some cigarettes with your insane burger.

You can also always buy some Lucky Strikes if you feel like some cigarettes with your insane burger.
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Oh, and don't forget, the Heart Attack Grill is home to the Guinness World Record Winning Quadruple Bypass Burger — something they are very proud of.

Oh, and don't forget, the Heart Attack Grill is home to the Guinness World Record Winning Quadruple Bypass Burger — something they are very proud of.
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We went during an odd hour, but were surprised how many people were still there. The longer we sat, the busier it got.

We went during an odd hour, but were surprised how many people were still there. The longer we sat, the busier it got.
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When you're ready, one of the "nurses" will come over and sit at your table to take your order. Our nurse told us it's meant to feel like a medical consultation.

When you're ready, one of the "nurses" will come over and sit at your table to take your order. Our nurse told us it's meant to feel like a medical consultation.
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In addition to our burgers, she convinced us to order some drinks. Everything was medical-themed, even the jello "shots."

In addition to our burgers, she convinced us to order some drinks. Everything was medical-themed, even the jello "shots."
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I got the Strawberry Daiquiri, which was served as a virgin drink and came with a pill prescription bottle filled with rum. (It said: "Take dosages by mouth until you throw your bra at the bartender. Side effects include waking up in strange men's beds." Classy!)

I got the Strawberry Daiquiri, which was served as a virgin drink and came with a pill prescription bottle filled with rum. (It said: "Take dosages by mouth until you throw your bra at the bartender. Side effects include waking up in strange men's beds." Classy!)
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My friend got chardonnay that came in an IV drip — complete with stand.

My friend got chardonnay that came in an IV drip — complete with stand.
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The wine dripped out slowly throughout our meal.

The wine dripped out slowly throughout our meal.
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For my meal, I went with the $18 sextuple bypass burger with six patties topped with chili, cheese, tomatoes, and onions. It was the third largest burger on the menu behind the 7- and 8-patty versions, and I opted not to get bacon, which would have cost me an extra $5.55.

For my meal, I went with the $18 sextuple bypass burger with six patties topped with chili, cheese, tomatoes, and onions. It was the third largest burger on the menu behind the 7- and 8-patty versions, and I opted not to get bacon, which would have cost me an extra $5.55.
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My friend got the single patty burger (we were not allowed to share one burger together, a policy we were told keeps down the price of the burgers). She got bacon on hers, which was surprisingly good.

My friend got the single patty burger (we were not allowed to share one burger together, a policy we were told keeps down the price of the burgers). She got bacon on hers, which was surprisingly good.
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The fries were soggy, limp, and highly disappointing. There was also not much salt on them — surprising, considering how much this place seemed to love sodium.

The fries were soggy, limp, and highly disappointing. There was also not much salt on them — surprising, considering how much this place seemed to love sodium.
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All in all, the burger was pretty tasty. The meat was cooked well, and the chili was flavorful, too.

All in all, the burger was pretty tasty. The meat was cooked well, and the chili was flavorful, too.
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But I can't imagine eating here more than once in my life. Neither of us could finish our burgers (surprise, surprise), and we both ended up bringing home leftovers. We did, however, politely decline a spanking for not finishing our food.

But I can't imagine eating here more than once in my life. Neither of us could finish our burgers (surprise, surprise), and we both ended up bringing home leftovers. We did, however, politely decline a spanking for not finishing our food.
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