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When I was 22, my boyfriend and I moved in together. I was delirious with joy at the idea of leaving my college roommates - and the grungy digs we called home - in favor of cohabiting with my main squeeze.
The whole experience made me giddy, until his father insisted we get renters' insurance - and my boyfriend dutifully agreed.
But, despite my thinking the idea ridiculous, it turned out to be a savvy move: Not one year later, when a freak fire at the bakery downstairs gutted our place, I was relieved to have taken what I'd thought was archaic advice. The renters' insurance saved us.
A handful of years later, after marrying that boyfriend and buying land together, my husband and I set out to build our dream house.
"Be sure to get life insurance" was my father-in-law's sage advice. I rolled my eyes, quickly calculating our combined years coming in well below retirement age. "Enough to at least cover the balance on your mortgage should one of you die," he added, causing my head to spin at the thought.
Getting life insurance as newlyweds
Before I knew it, a life insurance salesman was in my living room - swabbing the inside of my cheek and collecting a urine sample - and each of us became the proud owner of a 30-year term life insurance policy. Twenty-three years later, I am still prone to feeling giddy at the smart investment I made in my family's future.
I ultimately changed my mind about getting life insurance for two reasons: First, if someone who had walked this path before me could smooth my journey, I was in. Plus, the bottom line was so cheap at just $300 a year it didn't make sense not to invest.
This was our primary motivation as a young couple: If one of us died, would the surviving spouse be able to afford the lifestyle we had created for our growing family? With the addition of term life insurance, the answer became a resounding "Yes!"
Life insurance still makes sense two decades later
In the ensuing two decades, life has progressed rapidly, leaving many twists and turns in its wake. My husband and I refinanced our mortgage once or twice as a couple and, following our divorce, I went on to purchase the home independently. Each year, the balance I owe on my mortgage decreases while the value of my life insurance policy remains steady.
When our youngest daughter died, my now ex-husband and I collected a lump sum of $10,000 (unbeknownst to us, our respective policies carry riders for each of our minor children).
In the same way our renters' insurance alleviated the financial burden of replacing our personal belongings - leaving us free to focus solely on relocating in the aftermath of that fire - the life insurance benefit meant we were able to secure a family plot at the cemetery, cover cremation/funeral costs, and purchase a gravestone without added financial burden. This would not have happened without life insurance.
I continue to have huge peace of mind knowing that the term policies my now late (and former) father-in-law insisted we purchase will allow my children to remain in their childhood home - with a good chunk of cash leftover - should something catastrophic happen to me. All for what seems like pennies each month.
Why we chose term life insurance over whole life
I was conflicted as to term versus whole life insurance.
The difference? In a nutshell, the dollars paid into term life insurance premiums provide a death benefit to your beneficiaries if you die during the specified term - in my case, 30 years. With whole life, the money invested in premiums builds cash value that can be used later in life or will add to the death benefit that is guaranteed, though whole life comes at a much higher cost than term life.
I made my choice following a general rule of thumb: My family's need for life insurance will likely end when the 30-year term expires. My kids will be grown, my mortgage will have been paid off, and I will have accrued retirement savings.
I don't really want to think about dying - especially at the tender age of 45 - but planning is the prudent thing to do. In the same way that we purchase auto insurance and homeowner's insurance, life insurance is a sensible choice.
Life insurance still gives me peace of mind
Looking back, my only regret is that I did not purchase a larger policy. My term policy comes in at just under $300 each year - that's a cost of about 81 cents per day - a figure we landed on as the death benefit of $250,000 would have allowed me to pay off our mortgage and continue on as a stay-at-home mother in the event my husband died. Suffice it to say, I could have afforded twice that.
I stumbled upon a fantastic quotation the other day from "The Power of Moments" by brothers Chip and Dan Heath: "We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they're not."
From my perspective, this kind of sums up life insurance for me: I'm certain I have done my best to put my proverbial ducks in a row, in case the need arises, and I find comfort in this knowledge. In the meantime, I'm going to live my life - embracing all the messy and uncertain parts - no matter what comes my way.
This, I'm certain, is also what it means to be alive.
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