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How to find the clitoris and the best ways to have a clitoral orgasm

May 15, 2021, 00:20 IST
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You should always use lube when touching the clitoris.dvulikaia/Getty Images
  • The clitoris is located at the point when the inner labia meet and is about the size of a pea.
  • It's often covered by a clitoral hood, which is a small flap of skin that can be pulled back.
  • The clitoral tip is extremely sensitive, so you should stimulate it gently and slowly.
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The clitoris is the organ that's responsible for most of your sexual pleasure if you have a vulva. It sits between the labia and isn't always easy to see, but there are easy methods to find it. It's also extremely sensitive, so you may need some practice to learn the best way to touch it.

Here's how to find the clitoris and how you can stimulate it to get the most pleasure.

What is the clitoris?

When most people think of the clitoris, they think of the clitoral tip, which is about the size of a pea. But the clitoris is actually a larger internal organ.

The full clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, with the glans at the top and two internal "legs" that stretch up to five inches downward around your labia and vaginal opening.

Most of the clitoris is internal.josefkubes/Getty Images

The clitoris is unlike most other body parts - it's "the only organ in the human body, of any gender, that exists solely for the purpose of feeling pleasure," says Vanessa Marin, MFT, a licensed sex therapist in private practice.

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It is packed with thousands of nerve endings and is by far the most sensitive part of the vulva. This makes it an important part of sex - about 37% of women say they can't have an orgasm unless their clitoris is stimulated during sex.

How to find the clitoris

The clitoris sits between the labia at the top of a vulva - above the vaginal opening and the urethral opening.

"To find it, separate the outer labia, the lips that are covered in hair, and look for where the inner labia, the lips that don't have hair, meet," Marin says.

You may not be able to see the clitoris tip right away, as "it's often covered by a clitoral hood, a small flap of skin that can be gently retracted," Marin says. If you can't see the clitoris, push the hood gently upward, which should reveal the clitoris tip.

You can recognize the clitoris by its shape, Marin says. Though the clitoris can vary in size, it should always have a basic spherical form.

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How to stimulate the clitoris

Stimulating the clitoris is an important part of your sexual pleasure if you have a vulva. Clitoral orgasms, which are caused by stimulating the clitoris, are often more intense than vaginal orgasms, which come from penetration.

Marin offers a few tips to help you have a clitoral orgasm:

  1. "The clitoris can be extremely sensitive, so it's best to start with indirect stimulation," Marin says. You can do this by touching it over the labia, without pulling back the hood, or even by keeping on your underwear. "Some people do prefer indirect stimulation, so you may never need to touch it directly," Marin says.
  2. Use lube to decrease friction and increase sensation, Marin advises. Because the clitoris is so sensitive, it can be easily irritated by dry rubbing. Lube can also make touches move more smoothly, which may feel more pleasurable.
  3. "Experiment with different kinds of strokes to see what your body responds best to," Marin says. Each person is different and it may take some trial and error to find out what types of touches you like.
  4. Try using a toy. If fingers aren't working for you or you want more powerful stimulation, you can try using a vibrator or a suction toy on the clitoris.
  5. Try to be patient with yourself. "If you've never had an orgasm, it can take weeks or even months of exploring to have your first orgasm," Marin says.

Insider's takeaway

If you're not familiar with vulvas, it can be tricky to locate the clitoris, but with a little exploring, you should be able to find it between the labia. The clitoris is an important part of your sexual pleasure - with some patience and practice, you can learn to have powerful clitoral orgasms.

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