The disenchanting reality of being a phone sex operator
The obvious reason is that being a sultry phone actress requires you to forget your inhibitions, embrace graphic sexual discussions, and oftentimes transcend taboos.
But there are a lot of misconceptions out there about the payoff for this line of work.
Movies like "For A Good Time, Call" depict phone sex operators down on their luck soon raking in the cash from their new ventures. And tongue-in-cheek articles often emphasize the upsides of the job like flexible hours and the endless supply of funny anecdotes to share with your friends.
But a recent Reddit AMA with an unnamed phone sex operator reveals that, unless you truly love what you do, this job is not as rewarding as you'd hope.
The 25-year-old mom and wife writes that she holds an office job by day and works from home as a dispatch phone sex operator by night. While she says she loves what she does most nights, she also admits it's unlikely she could fully support herself with this job alone, so to make ends meet, she balances two jobs with motherhood and rarely has time for herself.
Here are some some of the questions and answers from her AMA that shed more light on what it's really like to be a phone sex operator. (We've edited for clarity.)
Q. How did you get hired?
A. I did some searching online for phone sex operator (PSO) companies. I applied to two that I felt seemed legit. I got a call a few weeks later, had a phone interview, and they got me set up to start working the next night.
Q. What was the phone interview like?
A. Not nearly as interesting as you'd think. It wasn't the backroom casting couch of phone sex. The lady pretty much just went through the contract with me, how they operate etc. She didn't ask me for any kind of demo, but she did ask me if I was comfortable with elements of BDSM, playing other ages, if I could do any accents, things like that.
Q. How much does it pay?
A. I get paid 30¢ per min for time that I am actually on the phone. On a typical night I make $20-$60, I could make more if I wanted to stay logged on longer but I have my day job too. It pays a bit better than my day job but the money isn't guaranteed (some nights are just slow) so I won't be quitting my day job.
Q. How are the call times structured?
A. We have per minute calls as well as blocks of calls. So if the dispatcher says a guy is a 5-40, that means I'm going to get paid for a minimum of 5 minutes. After that first 5 minutes it's per minute and they round up. So if we talk for 17 minutes and 20 seconds I get paid for 18 minutes.
The blocks of time are...well...blocks of time. If a guy pays for a 5-minute block and he's allowed to have 2 extensions, it means he's paid for the first five minutes. When it gets close to 5 minutes I ask him if he wants to extend. If he does, he's charged for the 7 minute block of time (the next block up), even if he hangs up at 6 minutes. The next block after that is 12 minutes. This becomes more important when you get to the higher blocks.
A. I'd say my average call is probably around the 20 minute mark. Of course I have some 3 hour calls and some 3 minute calls.
Q. Could you do this full time?
A. You get more calls at night and on the weekend. If you were to do it during the weekdays I don't know how busy you'd be, but I know you do still get some calls. The tricky thing about it is that you're kinda waiting around for calls. You can't really get into anything you can't quickly get out of. Webcams do pay a lot more and I've been thinking about getting into that, but the level of work goes up quite a bit, too. I'd actually have to wear what I say I'm wearing.
Q. What are the job requirements?
A. For my company at least you have to be 18, have to have a landline phone, you have to have internet connection and AIM installed, you have to have a clear phone voice, and you have to be willing to take the taboo calls. We're not allowed to hang up because someone is freakier than we like.
Q. What does a typical day look like for you?
A. My typical schedule is spending the mornings with my daughter, then I take her to daycare and go to work until 7:30 pm. I come home and have dinner with my husband and our daughter, put her to bed, log in, then my husband and I hang out while I wait for calls. Usually we can manage to get in a little quality time between calls.
Q. How do you balance having so little time for yourself?
A. It's hard, I'll admit. The nice thing about being a contracted employee is that they can't tell you when to work. So if I want the night off I just send them a message saying I'm taking the night off. I don't usually work on the weekends unless I'm bored and want to make extra money. I'm stretched pretty thin some days.
Q. Are you open with the people in your life about your job?
A. My friends and my sisters know about the phone sex but I haven't told my mom.
A. My husband doesn't mind the talking, except that it interrupts our TV watching. He had to wait 40 minutes last night to resume the episode of Bates Motel we were watching. He isn't the jealous type and he knows that it's just a job.
Q. Will you ever tell your daughter about what you do?
A. I will tell my daughter someday when she's old enough to understand it. I think how I explain it to my daughter will depend on her age. I think that explaining that mommy's job is to talk to people on the phone is a decent summary when she's young.
Honestly, my day job is in a call center so it's not really that different. As she gets older, if I'm still doing it, I'll explain more to her. I'm going to have to eventually explain sex, porn, all of that. I feel like this is just another extension of that.
Q. How long do you plan on continuing this?
A. I plan on doing it as long as it's still fun and I'm making money. It's really important for me that it's my choice to do it.
My husband had a bad habit for a little while of saying things like "shouldn't you clock in now?" or "We can't go do xyz, you have to do phone sex," and I nixed that really quickly. If it's not my choice, if I feel pushed into it in any way, I'll quit.
Q. What kind of callers do you usually get?
A. An overwhelming amount of the guys I talk to fit into one of two categories. A) They are lonely and need some kind of connection. They need a woman to just laugh at their joke or listen while they talk. Or B) They are into something that they can't ethically explore in any other way but with another consenting adult (incest, bestiality, etc.) Sometimes the guys fit into both categories.
A. It doesn't bother me to talk to the guys who want a connection. They tend to be a lot nicer than most. It's sad that talking to me is the highlight of their week for some of them, but I'm glad I can fill that role for them. It makes me feel more like a human being and less like a human fleshlight.
Q. Do you have favorite customers?
A. My favorite customer is a guy in his early 40s who calls me pretty regularly. We usually talk for a while before we get down to sex and then when we do he is always really sweet about it. He has a great sense of humor and I think we'd actually make great friends in real life.
Q. How about a least favorite?
A. Least favorite customer isn't really a particular guy, more a type of guy, and I know them as soon as I get on the phone. He wants me to do crazy stuff ... then as soon as he gets close to finishing he just hangs up. These guys get the fake stuff. I'm not gonna get invested in someone who's going to hang up on me after four minutes.
Q. Has a customer ever gotten angry with you?
A. I had a customer get mad at me because he said I was confusing him with another guy and he was mad I didn't remember him, but I take pretty detailed notes so that doesn't happen.
Q. How do you feel about your job?
A. It depends on the night. Most of the time I love it!