How to throw a perfect Zoom party with your friends and family

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How to throw a perfect Zoom party with your friends and family
my zoom party guests used custom backgrounds as a conversation starter

Kat Tenbarge/Insider

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A few of my party guests and I used the custom background option in Zoom as fun conversation starters.

  • Video chatting platforms like Zoom can be great tools for connecting face-to-face with friends, family, and loved ones.
  • After installing Zoom and participating in a few one-on-one calls, as well as calls with small groups of my friends, I decided I wanted to throw a Zoom party over the weekend.
  • My Zoom party was a success, and I brought 8 of my friends together for a fun night, after which everyone left feeling less lonely - here's what I learned and how you can throw your own perfect Zoom party.
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If you've been learning or working remotely, you're probably already familiar with Zoom. It's similar to Skype, Houseparty, and Google Hangouts, but has exploded in popularity and quickly become the dominant platform for everything from virtual preschool to business meetings.

Once I started seeing Zoom memes, I knew I had to try out the platform. But I don't use Zoom for work, so instead, I asked my friends to download it and began calling them casually to hang out and chat after work and over the weekend. After a group Zoom session with a few of my pals, I had the idea to throw a Zoom party.

In the process of planning, executing, and hosting my Zoom party, I picked up a few tips and tricks to share. I was worried that it might be awkward or function differently than a normal in-person party - and it was definitely different - but my party ended up being fun for everyone, and it made our Saturday night less lonely.

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Here's what I learned, and how you can throw your perfect Zoom party, too.

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If you want to throw a Zoom party, you need to have an account to set up a meeting.

If you want to throw a Zoom party, you need to have an account to set up a meeting.

For a quick Zoom primer, you can either install the Zoom app on your phone or use Zoom on your computer or laptop. I always recommend using Zoom on your laptop or computer, but especially for hosting a party. It gives you more freedom to access your phone, including if you need to text a guest who's joining the party late and needs an access link or code.

You don't need a Zoom account to join a meeting, but you do need one to create a meeting and invite others, so you'll need to create an account if you don't have one already.

You'll want to invite fewer people than you would to a regular party.

You'll want to invite fewer people than you would to a regular party.

If I want to throw a party in real life, I'll usually invite at least 15 people to get into the party spirit. On Zoom, you'll want to choose signficantly fewer people than you would for a real-life party, since everyone has to talk to one another at the same time.

You can technically host hundreds of people in one Zoom, but for the purposes of my party, I invited 7 of my friends. This turned out to be the perfect amount of people for a conversation that everyone could be included in to flow naturally for a couple of hours.

At most, I'd recommend you cap your party at 10 people, because at that point, people will probably get left out of the conversation. For a true party, you have to invite at least 5 people, though. Any fewer and you are simply "hanging out" on Zoom – that's my official ruling.

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Before the party starts, you'll want to make sure everyone knows how to access Zoom.

Before the party starts, you'll want to make sure everyone knows how to access Zoom.

I started floating the idea of a Zoom party to my friends a few days before I set the date and time. I knew everyone I invited already had Zoom set up, but as a responsible host you should take it upon yourself to double-check that your guests know how to access a meeting.

Next time I host a Zoom party, I'm considering sending digital invitations to liven up the proceedings, but this time I invited people casually over text messages.

I set my party for 8 p.m. on a Saturday so that people had time to eat dinner with their families and roommates ahead of time, and hang out with people virtually or in real life afterward if they already had plans to do so.

You can schedule a Zoom meeting in advance, or pass around a link a few minutes before the party is set to start.

You can schedule a Zoom meeting in advance, or pass around a link a few minutes before the party is set to start.

Since Zoom is usually intended for virtual meetings, and not parties, there are a lot of functions to integrate meetings into peoples' digital calendars. Because I wanted to keep my party casual, I didn't send a Google invite or schedule the meeting in advance.

Instead, at around 7:50 I headed into my designated party room and clicked the "New Meeting" button in the Zoom app on my laptop.

Then, I clicked "Invite" in the bottom toolbar, clicked "Copy URL" at the bottom left of the pop-up screen, and texted the URL to my 7 friends I had invited. You can also invite people through the app itself or send a numerical code around, too.

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Be sure to have the most stable WiFi possible, especially as the host.

Be sure to have the most stable WiFi possible, especially as the host.

This tip may seem like a no-brainer, but as someone with notoriously shaky WiFi, I took extra precautions to make sure I didn't leave my party host-less. At times, my unstable connection can cause me to be ejected from Zoom meetings. If that happens while you're the host, it won't necessarily crash your party (I know this from experience), but it's still awkward.

My best advice is to sit as close to your WiFi router as humanly possible. I actually evacuated the room in my home where the router is and set up shop there for the party.

I staggered my invitations so that everyone wouldn't join the call all at once.

I staggered my invitations so that everyone wouldn't join the call all at once.

During a normal party, people don't all enter exactly on time. I didn't want to delay anyone "arriving" to my party, but I also didn't want to have all 7 people pop up onscreen at once, because I prefer a more gradual flow.

I texted my URL to a few people at a time starting at about 7:55 p.m. and staggering every one or two minutes, which ended up being a great way to start the party, because it allowed me to introduce people who hadn't met each other one at a time, instead of all at once, which would have been more awkward.

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But you should definitely introduce people to one another who haven't met before.

But you should definitely introduce people to one another who haven't met before.

It may be weird to see 7 faces staring at you and try and coordinate introductions from behind a screen. But in practice, it's actually not that weird at all.

Just be sure that you introduce your friends to one another if they haven't met before, because that's what you would do as a host of a regular party and it makes it less awkward for people to engage in conversation with one another.

Don't steer the conversation, but try and be mindful of who's being included.

Don't steer the conversation, but try and be mindful of who's being included.

During a regular party, people usually split off into little groups and talk to one another, which isn't an option during a Zoom party because everyone is tuned into the same conversation.

My biggest fear during my Zoom party was that the conversation wouldn't flow and that there would be awkward periods when people weren't talking to one another. Luckily, with enough people, someone will usually have something to keep the conversation going.

But I did try and make sure everyone was included in that conversation, and nudged it toward one person or another if they had been quiet for a while.

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You can also use filters, emojis, and a custom background on Zoom, which can work as great conversation starters.

You can also use filters, emojis, and a custom background on Zoom, which can work as great conversation starters.

In my opinion, the best Zoom feature is the ability to add a custom background. You can add one, change it, and remove it at any point during a video chat. You can also use the "Touch up my appearance" button to apply a smoothing and brightening filter over your face.

Both these options can be found during the chat by clicking the up arrow next to the "Stop Video" button in the bottom left corner of the screen. After you click the arrow, click "Choose Virtual Background..." to be taken to the settings screen where there are some preset backgrounds and a "+" button where you can upload any image saved to your computer.

This is another reason to use Zoom on your laptop, because the phone version doesn't come fully equipped with all these capabilities, and setting your background as a funny meme is maybe the best way to keep the party entertained.

Another way to keep the party exciting is by bringing a drink or a snack.

Another way to keep the party exciting is by bringing a drink or a snack.

Lest your Zoom party become too professional (unfortunately, I don't recommend attempting to play music, as the audio will not function well), encourage your party guests to bring their favorite alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage to the virtual function.

If you could provide snacks through Zoom, it would truly be the best quarantine platform. Alas, if you want to throw a Zoom dinner party, everyone will have to cook separately.

Theoretically, you could also play drinking games at your Zoom party, or maybe even a card game if you're feeling experimental. My Zoom party just chatted, but in the future, I'm considering introducing the concept of a themed costume Zoom party. I've even heard about people throwing Zoom murder mystery parties.

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After 40 minutes, Zoom lets the host upgrade the meeting for free.

After 40 minutes, Zoom lets the host upgrade the meeting for free.

Like many companies and platforms offering free perks during quarantine, Zoom is letting hosts upgrade Zoom meetings past the usual 40-minute limit for free.

If you're the one hosting the party, you shouldn't have to do anything. At the 40-minute mark, Zoom automatically notified everyone in the group that the party had been upgraded for free and could go on, theoretically, forever. If your meeting is still timing out, there's a Zoom FAQ on the platform's website to troubleshoot.

Ending the party is your call as the host, and it's good to know when to let the conversation die out.

Ending the party is your call as the host, and it's good to know when to let the conversation die out.

After two hours, my first Zoom guests started to exit the conversation to do other virtual or in-person activities with friends and loved ones. I kept the party going with the remaining members for about half an hour after that, but it's good to know when it's time to end the call.

Preferably, you want to end your party before it gets awkward, so once I was down to about 4 others and myself, I let the conversation come to a close and we said our group goodbyes. When you exit a Zoom call, you can choose to end it for the group as a whole.

Unfortunately, if you're stuck in a Zoom party that's been going on for ages and you're not sure how to make a graceful exit, you can't slip out like a regular party. Whatever you do, don't pretend your internet froze. Just tell your awkward fellow partiers that you promised your mom you would call her, or something like that.

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One thing I wish I had done before the party is gotten into the party groove with some music.

One thing I wish I had done before the party is gotten into the party groove with some music.

Apart from trying out Zoom games or themed Zoom parties in the future, there isn't anything I would change about my party. However, to quell my hosting fears, I wish I had (and would suggest) getting into the party spirit ahead of time.

If you're gearing up to host your first Zoom party, you may find it helpful to do what people do before hosting regular parties – get into the spirit! Turn on some music, dance around, and put on a smile, because your Zoom party is going to be legendary.

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