Question: What is the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? Answer: Only the etymologist knows.
It's funny because: The two words sound very much alike, but an "entomologist" is someone who studies insects while an "etymologist" is someone who studies the history of words and their origins. So, the etymologist would know what the difference between the two, while the entomologist wouldn't.
Extra credit follow-up from another Reddit user: "Something about this joke bugs me just a little"
A guy walks into a sandwich shop and sees a sign that reads, "Home of the Meanest Grilled Cheese in Town." So he orders the grilled cheese. When his bill arrives the waitress asks him how he liked the sandwich. "Eh, it was about average."
It's funny because: Colloquially, "meanest" means best, so at first you think that the man is disagreeing with the shop's claim abouts its grilled cheese. But "mean" also means average, so, he's really agreeing.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
It's funny because: A rhetorical question isn't meant to elicit a reply, so this cleverly plays on a traditional joke format, but without having an answer.
Question: Why did the polar bears disappear when they jumped into the pool? Answer: Because they dissolved.
This is funny because: Besides being a type of bear, "polar" can also describe a bond between two atoms that have different electronegativies. A polar compound dissolves in water.
The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?" Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but no cream". Nodding agreement, the waitress walked off to fill the order and Sartre returned to working. A few minutes later, however, the waitress returned and said, "I'm sorry, Monsieur Sartre, we are all out of cream — how about with no milk?"
It's funny because: In his book "Being and Nothingness," Sartre argued that being absent was a quality that an object could have unto itself. The waitress is treating "no cream" as a real characteristic of the coffee instead of as a lack of cream.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.
It's funny because: In binary, "10" is 2.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a "martinus." "You mean a martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
It's funny because: In Latin, most words that end in "us" are made plural by changing the "us" to "i."
When Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer, the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.
It's funny because: Helium is a noble gas, which means that it has very low chemical reactivity (hence, it "doesn't react"). Also, its symbol on the periodic table is He.
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."
It's funny because: C, Eb, and G are the musical notes that constitute a C minor chord.
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
It's funny because: "Traveling light" is an expression that indicates traveling without much (or any) luggage. In science, a photon is a particle of light (almost always moving).
Werner Heisenberg is driving down the highway and get pulled over for speeding. The cop asks Heisenberg, who was driving, if he was aware of how fast he was going. Heisenberg says no. The cop replies, "You were going 108 miles per hour." Heisenberg throws up his hands and says, "Great! Now I'm lost."
It's funny because: Werner Heisenberg was a German physicist and one of the key figures in quantum theory. His famous "Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal" states that we can know either where a quantum particle is or how fast it's moving, but it's impossible to know both at the same time.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
It's funny because: A more labor-conscious plumber would pronounce the word as "yoon-yun-ized." A chemist would probably say "un-eye-on-ized."
Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They haven't had any gigs yet.
It's funny because: A gigabyte is a measure of data equal to 1,024 MB. As you can see the band is only 1,023 MB, they haven't had any "gigs" yet.
