A Bunch Of People Just Got The Worst Targeted Email Of All Time

I received a very unusual PR pitch in my inbox earlier today.

Here's how it began:

Hi Sam,

You're a recently divorced successful single woman. You have a thriving career and children from your past marriage. Except, unlike most single woman, you have no desire to seek a new relationship. In fact, you have little interest in conventional dating practices and can't be bothered with one-night stands or the complicated strings attached to a relationship...

Almost none of that fits my profile. In particular, I am not a divorced single woman with children. Regarding my career, I'm pretty much the most important professional in all business media, so they got the "successful" part right.

I wasn't alone in receiving this poorly targeted pitch.

We are all recently divorced successful single women now cc @SenJohnMcCain pic.twitter.com/n9EgILInuG

- Matt O'Brien (@ObsoleteDogma) March 10, 2014

Inbox: "Hi Matthew, Youre a recently divorced successful single woman."

- Matthew C. Klein (@M_C_Klein) March 10, 2014

Pretty sure I'm none of those things. pic.twitter.com/jsTYLmZA2x

- Paul Szoldra (@PaulSzoldra) March 10, 2014

In my inbox, the email starts: "Hi Daniel. You're a recently divorced successful single woman...."

- Daniel W. Drezner (@dandrezner) March 10, 2014

Perhaps the most amusing part of the pitch with the PR reps client. From the email (Names removed.):

Internationally known as an elite male companion for women, ________ is no stranger to a new breed of successful divorcees on the market today. Too involved in their career to be bothered with the complications of a relationship, but still in need of companionship, these women are the driving force behind male companions for hire in today's society.

________ has years of experience, both professional and otherwise that has given him a deep understanding of the applied principles of human sociosexuality. Through his experience as an elite male companion, ________ has developed a unique approach to developing a genuine and positive connection with clients.

Would you be interested in an interview with ________ to discuss the increasing trend of companionship?

Sounds interesting. But I had to pass.